It's a Little Bit Funny, This Feeling Inside . . .
Wow. What an odd weekend. Friday I hung out with Steve, and an old aquaintance of mine, Alex. I worked my ass off Saturday and Sunday. And on Sunday I went to Steve's grad party where good times were had by all. Especially Jason who managed to sneak a wine cooler out of the party . . . grrrrr . . . Those straberry daqueries looked really, really good too . . .
So, yeah, my weekend. I was sitting in my room on Friday, minding my own business, when, suddenly . . . I got an IM . . . from an old acquaintance of mine, Alex. At first I wasn't sure who it was. I thought it was him, but I wasn't sure. So I asked, and, yup, it was. Seeing as how I hadn't talked to him in two years, I was actually pretty excited to talk to him. I literally forgot he existed until he messaged me. I feel kinda bad about that, but not so much anymore . . . I'll get to that soon . . .
So, I had tenuous plans to go to a charity concert thingy in Blair with Steve and Jason. But when Alex messaged me, I thought that it might be cool if he came too. I figured we could cathc up, and I could introduce Steve to another gay guy. So, Alex came up, and we talked a little while we waited for Steve, who was, of course, late. But that wasn't really a problem. I just like to give him shit about it. I'm late half the time too. Ok . . . more than half the time . . . but that's another story.
So, Steve got there and then Alex said that he had to go home before we did anything . . . And this was fairly inconvenient because the concert is in Blair . . . I felt bad asking him to go all the way back to Omaha, then coming all the way back out here. So, we called Jason to find out when he was showing up, and Jason decided to tell us that he was no longer coming to Blair. Ok, whatever Jason . . . So, we decided that we didn't have to go to the concert, and we'd find something to do in Omaha. Steve had just arrived, so I felt bad asking him to drive, so I had us all piled in Alex's car with the intention that we would hang out with Alex for a few hours and then Steve and I would go back to Blair and get his car. It didn't exactly happen that way.
First we went to Alex's house and waited for his parents to get home so he could tell them where he was going and to get money. I got to meet the first decent dog ever, Grace. I think I liked her because she was basically a cat in dog form. Well a cat with bad breath in dog form. But it's the best I've seen so far. Anyway, after that we went to Best Buy to try and meet up with Jason and Alan. Of course they weren't there, so I wandered around the store jokingly asking Steve and Alex to buy me expensive stuff. It didn't work . . . oh well. Finally they drug me out and we all went over to Oakview. We got there 10 minutes before they were supposed to close, but we managed a very interesting 10 minutes. First I noticed Sam Goody was replaced by a glow-in-the-dark Putt-putt type place. I wanted to go check it out, but I was escorted down the escalator my the boys . . . grrr . . . and then, when we got down the stairs we discovered that Far East Treasures is closed!!! It's GONE!!! That was a very, very sad moment. I have a lot of fond memories of that store. It was hella cool. Anyway, then we made our way to GameStop where I wonce again tried to get them to buy me stuff. God, I'm a mooch. It didn't work, big surprise, so we left a few minutes later and made out way to House of Hunan, after much pleading and whining on Steve's and my part.
Dinner was really yummy. I tried to take an extended bathroom trip so Steve and Alex could talk by themselves and get to know eachother better, and I think it worked to a degree. They seemed to get along really well. By the time we finished dinner it was well after 10:30, and we still needed to get Steve's car. Alex insisted on coming back to Dana, much to my surprise . . . so, we all went back. Scott, Joe, and Kori were in my dorm room, so we hung out there for a little bit. During this time, Alex and Steve got into a little battle over me. It started out very flattering, but, well, it got kind a awkward. Especially when I was the center in a literal Tug-of-War match between them to determine who I rode back to Omaha with . . . I finally had to get them to settle it witha coin toss before I got ripped in half. Alex won. So, much to Steve's dissappointment, I rode home with Alex. The ride home was . . . awkward . . . he spent 2/3 of it petting the back of my head, which I normally really enjoy, but, well, now after spending and evening with him, I was questioning his motives . . .
Waaaaay back during the spring of my senior year I met Alex online. We talked a bit, and he seemed like a really cool kid. He was a freshman at the time, but I really thought he was cool. One day we talked on the phone for the first time, and I was starting to kinda like him. There was even talk about us posibly dating. But towards the end of the conversation, he broke into tears and claimed that he was in love with me. And it really scared me. I mean, this was the first time we'd talked on the phone. We hadn't even met and he was sobbing because he loved me so much? I didn't understand it and it was kinda creepy. But I just attributed it to the fact that he's young and I was the only gay guy he knew. So I tried to be his friend. I still talked to him and stuff because I felt that he needed a friend more than anything. He came to see me at BK a couple times, and I though that he was ok now. But when he kept broaching the subject of us dating, I told him that I wanted to be his friend because that's what I felt he needed. And he wasn't happy with that, and eventually we lost contact.
Well, over the course of the evening, I distinctly got the impression that these feelings from two years ago were far from gone, especially during the Tug-of-War. So, I didn't want to lead him on in the car, so I wasn't talkative at all. We didn't talk much. When he took me home I said it was good to see him and that I'd talk to him later. I talked to Steve on Sunday, and apperantly when he talked to Alex online, the boy talked about little else other than me. Apperantly he still has feelings for me. Hell, he talked to Scott nonstop and he saw Scott for 5 minutes in my room. I really don't know what to do about this. Apperantly he hasn't matued in the past two years, and it's still pretty creepy. I don't want to be mean, and I still think he desperately needs a friend. But I can't be that person. If I try, he'll get ideas. Oi, some people are too difficult. Maybe Steve can be that friend to him. I hope so.
So, yeah, I 've spent waaaay more time talking about this than I intended to. I think I'm gonna take a study break and then talk about the rest of my weekend later.
Eric 5/19/2003 04:32:00 PM
