Good god, I haven't blogged in a while. Well, not seriously. That last one didn't turn out right either. It was one of those test thingies, and I thought the result actually fit me perfectly, but then the damn picture doesn't show up like the thingy said it would . . . damn thingy.
And the only other post since Denmark would be the cryptic one during my little relapse episode the week that I came back to the states. Medication is a very good thing.
Wow. Lots has happened. And I've been meaning to blog. Really, I have. But, well, the whole relapse thing made me so unmotivated I skipped work, and now my family is back in town and things are just so hectic around here. Well, no matter now. I'm back, and I'm blogging, and that's all that really matters, isn't it?
Oh, and I posted a link to this in my profile on gay.com. I might post a link to this in my xy.com profile too. I figure it'll help give guys a chance to get to know me and decide if I'm somone worth talking to. And then I don't blog and when I do it's about psycho shit. Smart boy, Eric. Smart boy.
Blargh. I have sooooo much running though my head, it'd take too long to type it all, and I'd probably scare people away with the size of my blog. So, lets just get a quick list of random shit running around in my head:
-Frustration with not getting ahold of Nick in 3 weeks
-Frustration with not having a boy
-Frustration with everyone else having significant others. (Maybe they don't, but it certainly feels like it)
-Disgust and horror at seeing people celebrate death and showing dead bodies on national television
-Tired of my family, even though they've only been back 4 days
-Guilt at not being a good friend to people who are very good friends to me
-Guilt at getting drunk and leading people onGuilt at my apperant shallowness
-Envy of muscular boys
-Inadequacy of my own computer
-Too many things I need to spend money on
-Too many people I have to pay back
-Haven't gotten Peter a birthday or christmas present in two years. Goddamn I'm an asshole.
-Need pictures from Europe to be developed
-Need a new job.
-Need a new life. Everything seems old and jaded. I have no idea what to do.
And I can't summon up the motivation to make myself get off my ass and do something about anything. I hate it.
And now I'm done complaining, because, after all, any boys reading this will think I'm psycho and will never give me the time of day.
