I worked out the other day. I actually made it to the gym. And even though Jason was 35 minutes late (miscommunication, so I'm not pissed) we got a decent work-out in. Afterwards we relaxed in Jason's hot tub. And it worked wonders. Today, my entire upper body was actually moveable. My legs, which weren't as affected by the water jets, were really, really, really sore. Oh well. No pain, no gain. And with this much pain, I'm gonna have a lot of gain. I don't know how I did this last time without a hot tub.
So, yeah, I spent today recuperating from yesterday. Of course Steve had to bitch at me about it. Saying a bunch of stupid shit that just pissed me off about how I should be exercising even though my legs feel like they're going to fall off. He's been doing that a lot lately, saying stupid shit that pisses me off. Steve, quit being a bitch. I get enough of that shit from my mother and Emily.
The zoo is fun. Especially when you can just walk right in and not have to pay the $9 entrence fee. Yay for saving money and walking right past oblivious ticket checkers's noses.
Let's see . . . what else? Oh, talked to Nick again. He was tired and upset that a friend blew him off to go smoke weed. It's understandable. And now I know he looks down on weed as much as I do. Thank god. He doesn't smoke, anything. He doesn't use drugs. He doesn't steal. He doesn't kill people. He drinks occasionally, but hey, who doesn't? IT doesn't seem like he drinks all the time. So right now it seems like his only flaw is his promiscuity. Which, actually is a pretty nasty flaw, but he's hinted at reasons behind that, and I'm sure I'll find out eventually. He's also a very guarded person. He's going to be a little difficult to get to open up completely. But I'm going to try. I'm going to be there for him, and eventually he'll come around.
Ahhh, fuck it. I don't know what I'm talking about. I really don't. I don't hardly know the kid and I'm speculating all this shit. But . . . I just have this gut feeling about him. More so than anyone else. So, I don't think I'm completely out of my mind. Lets look at the other people I've been interested in:
Wade: Had feelings for him, but knew that he'd never return them. That was the source of my whole Sophomore depression/coming out cycle. I never really believed I'd be with him, which was why it was so difficult.
Aaron: That was just a little crush, really, and once again, didn't honestly believe anythign would happen.
Scott: Whole drama revolved around me believing he was bi, and wanting to be with him. He denies it, and even though I'm no longer in love with him, I know that someday he'll probably come out. I never really had any other gut instincts about anything besides that with him. P.S. Katrina, if you read this, I'm sorry, but that's what I believe. And I said Bi, not gay, so yes, I know he likes you a lot.
And that pretty much wraps up the other people I've had serious attractions to. I mean, they ended up more or less how I though they would. I guess. So, I don't really have any reason to doubt my gut insticnt, do I? I don't know. I hate being unsure about things. I really, really like Nick, and now I'm not under any illusions that he's perfect. I know he's flawed, but I just have this need to get to know him. The real Nick. He really seems like he needs someone to be clsoe to and to trust and to confide in. And, well, I think I'm pretty damn good at those things.
I need to call his mom. He told me to do that once upon a time, and now that I actually have her number, I ought to do that. Maybe I'll take her to lunch or dinner sometime. Then we can have a nice talk about Nick and get to know eachother.
God, I hardly know him and I'm already looking forward to meeting his parents.
Speaking of eating lunch with people, I need to call Mrs. Fischer. She told me to call her after I got back from Europe, and I haven't done it yet. She'll be getting pretty busy soon, so I should do that in the next couple of days.
Damn, I have a lot to take care of in the next few weeks. School's going to be a break from summer vacation. God, it sucks to have to think of it that way.
Eric 8/06/2003 03:54:00 AM
