At long last, Sarah McLachlan is coming out with a new album. Due November 4th, it's called Afterglow. I've been to every Sarah site on the internet looking up information on it. Well, Sarah says this is a very transitional album. Not only is it a mix of her old style and an attempt to incorporate new things, but the whole album is about transitions in people's lives. Is this a sign or what? Sarah, you never cease to amaze me with how your music is there for me at just the right time, telling me just the right message I need. I can not wait for this cd to come out. Come on November 4th!!!
I told myself that I'd be in bed tonight by 1:30 so I could fall asleep. A lot of good that did. It'll be 5:00 before I even lay down. Sigh . . . I really need to work on this. And the internet doesn't help. Gaia, as fun as it is, is the biggest time-waster I've ever seen. It just sucks you in and you can easily waste hours on the forums just to earn money to dress a catroon character. It sounds ridiculous, but it's very addicting.
Even Steve has a boyfriend now. The last person to not have a relationship is now taken. Good god, I suck.
I'm still at a loss for what I'm supposed to do with myself. I do read the comments, Jason, and they make me feel good. I'm very grateful for your support. I just feel like I need to do something. Like there's something I need to change, and I don't know what it is.
E-mailed a couple more boys. Let's see if anything actually comes from them. Nothing did from the last batch. Interestingly, I found a profile for a guy named Nik. I remember asshole Nick saying he met a Nik with his name spelled that way. Maybe I can meet this Nik and somehow fuck with Nick's life. For some morbid reason, I have the desire to fuck him over. He deserves it. The little prick needs to be taught a lesson. And apperantly Ira is a slut too. At least that's what this guy I've been talking to tells me. God, I don't know hardly any of the gay community in Omaha. And from what I do know they're either sluts or unnattractive. How about some variety here, people. Can't there be a single gay guy with anything remotely in common with me? Jesus, I need to get out of this state. Nebraska gay boys suck ass. And in the bad way too.
My mood is slightly more optimistic than the other day. Slightly. I'm more pissed about things right now, rather than being depressed. It's a small step in the right direction, I suppose.
I hung out with Scott for a while tonight. I had a good time. I don't know what it is, but conversation with Scott just comes more naturally than with anyone else. It'd be annoying if it wasn't so comforting. Why can't I be like that with other people? Maybe then people would actually see me and not get bored or lose interest. That's probably why. I'm so shy around new people I don't talk much. So they think I'm rude or boring and don't actually puit in the time to get to know me till I'm comfortable with them and can actually be myself. It's really frigging annoying.
