Last night was not such a good night. I decided to see if any of the various boys I'd been talking to wanted to hang out today. First, I asked Tony because we'd already met, and I'd really like to form some sort of relationship with him. He said he was busy today. Not exactly the resonse I was looking for, and the conversation basically ended with me saying, "guess I'll see you some other time," and him saying, "alrighty." Well, this pissed me off, evn though it probably shouldn't have. It felt like I was being rejected again, and I'm not about to put up with that shit again, so I'm officially not going to contact Tony until he contacts me. I'm not going to get fucked over again. In fact, I had Alan go get my movie from his room, so I wouldn't have to do it myself. Paranoid? Maybe, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna be sucked again. Figuratively speaking.
Then I talked to Ron, some guy I've been talking to who, interestingly, almost came to Dana. He was busy tonight too. So I asked Phoenix. He said he didn't have much going on, and that it'd be cool if we hung out. Well, this was good, but the previous two rejections (at least that's what the felt like at the time) still stung. And I almost skipped out on going to a late dinner with Scott and Katrina. Well, a little voice inside me said that the time that I'm feeling anti-social is the time that I need to be around people the most. So, I went. We ate at Perkins, which I am officially no longer a fan of. I paid $5 for French Toast. Only french toast. No eggs, no bacon, no nothing. Just a couple pieces of french toast. It was a rip, but I had a good time, and there was a table full of cute goth/punk boys in the vicinity. They would've been really hot if it hadn't been for all the odd facial piercings. Lips rings really aren't very appealing to me. Oh well . . .
Anyway, I went to bed that night before 3:00 for once. And I woke up and went to work. I wasn't on the schedule, but I worked anyway. And they didn't make me go home, so it's all good. Apperantly I can work whenever I feel like now . . . interesting.
But, at work, I had an epiffany (is that how it's spelled?). I need something to throw my life into. Something interesting. No killer FF games are on the way anytime soon, nor any must have books. So, what else is there? I thought about it. School is just waaay too boring. But I had another idea. For the longest time (ok, about 6 years) I've had this . . . idea in my head. It started when I was attempting to compose a sequel to Final Fantasy VII. I had the urge to write a story. It stemmed somewhere from wanting to redo the magic system typical of console RPGs, and I envisioned a sci-fi/fantasy setting (the coolest, i n my opinion) that combined the two genres. My imagination took it a little bit further and I started coming up with different characters, and a timeline for the history of this world, and I even got a really freaking cool prologue worked out. Anyway, I worked on this story of mine for a little while, but I never got very far till something else snagged my attention and I sort of forgot about it. Every once in a while, I'd come across the notebook in which I had started brain-storming and I'd sit down and brianstorm a little bit more before my attention drifted again. Basically, I had visions of turning this story into a videogame, possibly a Final Fantasy. Anyway, when I was at work, it suddenly struck me that this was exactly what I needed to throw myself into. Instead of living vicariously through some other person's imaginary world and imaginary story, I should create my own. I already have dozens of characters and a preiminary story figured out. It just needs to actually be written and finished. So, while I was working, I was doing a major brain-storming session, and well, I really can't wait to get started.
Oh, and I'm not copying Steve. I had this idea loooooong before I even met him. But, I must admit that he's inspired me to complete it.
I think the hardest part is actually getting it written. I can think of stuff alright. It's just the time consuming process of putting ideas into words that makes my concentration waver. But I think I may be able to do it this time. I'm just going to throw myself into it and see what happens.
