Lately I've been getting the feeling that I just don't have any control over my own life. Like no matter what I do, it's just going to take the same course. So, why try to do anything? I mean, why not just sit back and let things happen, if there's just supposed to happen anyway? What's the point of trying if your success is already determined beforehand?
Things in my life have been going down the shithole a lot lately. But for some reason . . . I'm not depressed about it. I just don't care . . . But apathy is just another way of depression rearing its ugly head.
I should probably start taking my medicine again . . . I don't know why I stopped. I just . . . kinda did. It just wasn't important anymore.
Yeah, I definitely need to take my medicine again. Apathy sucks.
But if I'm supposd to be apathetic, who am I to say no and change it? Maybe . . . maybe I'm supposed to be fucked up? Maybe I'm supposed to throw my life down the toilet?
I don't know.
Why am I thinking this? I wasn't thinking about this earlier.
I wasn't even thinking about this at all until I sat down to blog . . . I was planning on blogging about something else entirely.
But I suppose this is what I was reall meant to blog about, isn't it?
