Shaving Supplies: $8
Fishnets: $5
Gas to Drive to Lincoln to Borrow a Wig: $10
Winnings From Cross-Dressing Lip-Synch Contest: $25
Net Winnings: $2
The contest was tonight. It went pretty well, though not at all how I was expected. First of all, I tried copying the choreogrphy, but, well, thoe choreography in the video, is, well, in a video. And being a video, it's flashy and switches from scene to scene all over the place, so there's not a single routine of choreography. There are scenes, but then there's stuff where Christina is just bumpin' and grindin' and then there's other people bumpin' and grindin', so I just tried to get down some of her dance moves and then just wing it at the contest. And, I don't know what it is, but I have been listening and singing along to this song for the past week and I can not get this one stupid line, I don't get it. But the difficult thing about the song is that at the end, the chorus repeats several times while Chirstina does a bunch of solo scat things in the background. Well, they both takes turns in the foreground so I wasn't sure which to lip-synch to. So, well, I just kinda winged that too. I mean, the scat solo stuff isn't set in stone anywhere, and I had to just go by what I heard. So, yeah, it was quite the challenge to put it all together.
Well, I showed up early and but my ensemble on and was supposed to go first. And just as they were about to start, Lisha, the director of Residence Life comes backstage and tells me that she's very sorry, but I have to put on more clothes . . . .
Ok, so, yes, I was wearing panties and a bra and theigh-high fishnets. So, it was far from conservative, but all my parts were covered up. Grrrrrr . . . It was then that I found out that there were a lot of angry phone calls that the contest was even going on. Stupid conservative butt-heads. But yeah, so first I can't strip, then I have to put on more clothes . . . which I didn't have. So, Katie came to my rescue and let me put on her dress. It was button up, so we only buttoned the middle buttons so that my bra and panties poked out. The only thing it really covered was my back and stomach. So, it wasn't terrible, just a little . . . I dunno. I just wasn't used to it, but it's not like I practiced in my costume before anyway. Oh well. So, while I was getting the costume thing figured out, Brett, the only other guy in the contest went. He sang Like a Virgin and wore a wedding dress things. Unfortunately I didn't get to watch b/c I was backstage changing, but apperantly it was pretty decent.
So, then it was my turn. I walked out on stage and strutted my stuff, improvised some moves, shook my thang, and the audience went wild. Absolutely wild. If they were going on audience reaction, I would've won hands down. And then, the finale of the song came up, and I was prancin' around, switching between scat and chorus, and I decided that I better step up my grooves since the words are all the same, so, I just went nuts. Well, not nuts, but I just really stepped it up a notch. And that's when it happened . . .
My wig flew off.
And my tape came undone.
Thank god for the dress. I had to tone down my dancing and struggle to keep my package tucked between my legs and I just forgot about the wig and kept going. And I finished with a sexy, sexy pose and the audience roared. I sauntered over to grab my wig and strutted offstage.
The judges gave their scores. Out of 5, I got a 4 in lip-synching. Which, well, if it wasn't for that end . . . She probably thought that I should've synched to a different part then I did. But, hey, it was difficult.
Costume, I got a 5. Heck yeah. My costume kicked ass and I thank everyone who lent me something. Katie, Sarah, Tabby, Katrina, and Ryan. Thank you all sooooo much. Oh, and my make-up, by Katrina, rocked. I wouldn't have been able to do it without you guys.
And, finally, in dance moves, I got a 4.5. And I was pretty happy that I got that high concidering that I was improvising the whole thing.
So, there it was, a 13.5 out of 15. Pretty damn good score, though I think the lip-synching score should've been higher. Oh well. That particular judge was a last minute replacement. My bud Renee, the original judge had to back out for an unexplained reason. But yeah, overall, I was very happy. And having the crowd go wild was an huge rush.
The act after me was a group of girls doing New Kids on the Block. I didn't get to see them either because I was gettin my picture taken and giving Katie her dress back. They did some chair dance thingy. They had actual choreography, but they didn't score as high as I did.
Then, the final group went: N'Sync. How fitting for a lip-synching contest . . . But yeah, they went up, and despite my lack of glasses and hence lack of vision, they were pretty good. They had very polished and coordinated choreogrpahy. I really couldn't tell about their actual lip-synching, but their clothes were . . . so - so. I think it's just really hard to compare a guy scantily clad in girls clothing, and girls wearning baggy guy clothes. I mean it's so common today to see girls wearing pants and shirts that it's just not surprising to see girls wearing it. But guys, on the other hand, can't wear any femenine clothing without getting harrassed or being made fun of. So, guys wearing chick clothes is more of a novelty. I personally, would've had trouble judging that category.
But yeah . . . they got two 5's and a 4. I think they got 5's in lips and dancing and the 4 in clothes. At least I think. I don't know for sure, but that's where I'd put the scores if I was going to arrange them. So, they one by 0.5 points because they planned and practiced their dance where as mine was off the top of my head.
And, they won. But they didn't have anywhere near the hoots, hollars and cheers that I did. Like I said, I was more of a novelty. It's hard to be blown away by girls dancing, when girls dance and wear pants and hats all the time. But, oh well, I still get $25. They have to split the $100 5 ways, so they each only get $20. Ha-ha!
But as I've mentioned at the beginning, I've spent a bit of money getting ready for this, so I pretty much broke even. But I had such a blast doing it that it was worth it.
I may have to do it again sometime.
But the shaving is a bitch. And I definitely do not enjoy being hairless. At all. Sure, it's smooth, but itchy as hell, sore down "you know where", and isn't nearly as sexy. Ehhh, someday. Probably next year if they actually have the contest again.
But yeah, good times were had. I'm sleepy now. Time for bed.
