Well, tons of thigs I want to blog about. Let's see if I actually get to them all. I'll try and make it short and sweet.
Audition: Went well. Not as well as I know I'm capable of doing, but not bad by any means. I saw another guy practicing in the waiting room and despite his being rather gorgeous, he wasn't very good at performing shakespeare. There was a girl who wasn't terribly good either, but she's not competition. You see, at least to me, performing shakespeare is all about converying the meaning of the language. Understanding the language is the most difficult, and largest barrier to enjoying shakespeare. If an actor can convey the meaning through their performance so everyone can understand, then they have done a great job in my mind. That's what I try to do when I do shakespeare, and I think I did a fair job of that in my audition. The people were nice and asked if I had ever done stage combat. Unfortunately, I had to say no, but at least they were considering me for a part that required stage fighting. I don't find out anything until March b/c they have auditions in 2 other cities, so waiting is going to be annoying. And I really don't know if I'm going to get a part. I can see myself getting it, but I can just as easily see myself not getting it. I mean, there are lots of people going for 19 spots, and age is not an issue. Or rather, it IS an issue for some parts. It's all just kind of up in the air
I think as an actor, I'm starting to hit a roadblock. Doc says that good acting isn't just portraying emotions, it's actually feeling them. And there is where I am stuck. You see, there have been times in my experience where I was actually able to make myself feel the emotions I was trying to portray, and each and every time resulted in my best performances. And it just felt good too. You know, to completely lose myself in a role and actually become someone else instead of just acting like someone else. There's a difference, but it's hard to understand unless you actually experience it. Anyway, my block comes from the fact that I jsut don't know how to make myself feel emotions, to literally become someone else. The times I've done it have just kind of happened, form instinct. I can't do it on a consistent basis. Thus is where my audition was just "ok" instead of phenomenal. I know it's possible for me to have done better, I just don't know how to physically make myself do it. But I believe I did the best I could have prepared for it, so I"m satisfied wheather or not I get a part.
Typing with gloves on is very difficult. And I'd take them off, but it's damn cold in my room. It's either too cold or too hot. There's no happy medium. Grrrrr . . .
I took them off. It's not too bad.
Hung out with Jacob saturday. I had a good time. I'm still not completely sure what to make of that boy . . . how I feel about him. It's confusing. I just hope he doesn't think he's going to get some from me every time we hang out.
My father is more sick than I could have imagined. Apperantly not only does he suffer from depression and ADHD, he's also bipolar and OCD. Good god, no wonder he's so wierd. This all came about when he wanted my brother and I to put together a cabinet before we could come back to school yesterday. The thing is, my mother wanted HIM to do that, and he was passing off the job to my brother and I, wich, frankly, really pissed me off. Here I was, just off from working, and wanting to get back to school before the roads got too bad, and he was making me do HIS ONE AND ONLY JOB IN THE ENTIRE HOUSE. I mean, he doesn't work anymore. He doesn't clean. He doesn't pick kids up from school. He just sits on his ass all day and the one thing my mom asks him to do, he makes my brother and I do. I flat out refused to do it. We got into a screaming match when I pointed out the fact that I work AND go to school full time, what the hell does he do? And he responded that I'm a member of the family and I should help out too. Which I just threw right back at him. Then my mother had a talk with me and explained my father's various medical conditions. IT really surprised me. And even though it is NOT an excuse, I don't think he's quite as much of an asshole as I thought before. I put the dan cabinet back together and came back to school.
Tabby introduced me to an Amyway-ish online business thing. It looks pretty promising, but I'd actually have to have a steady job to actually get anything from it. I think my parents may be interested. It looks like a good opportunity, just not for me at this time of my life.
I need to quit eating to th point where I'm ready to pop. That is NOT the way to lose wieght. Kori better hurry up and get started making me lose wight and exercise. Tabby too.
I'm going to try and put together a strict schedule for myself with homework, and practice, and games and such so I can balance everything better and hopefully get some motivation.
And finally, I'm the Vice-President of Dana's first GSA. It's exciting, and I can't wait for meetings to start! Yippie!
