Well! One more day, and finals will be OVER! I can't wait. I'll finally be able to relax and not be insanely stressed out by school. Ahhhhhhhhh . . . just thinking about it calms me down. Understanding Film final: piece of cake. If I don't get a B+ or better in that class, I'll be very surprised. American Lit. final: Challenging, but Hermanson said it was supposed to be and plans to be giving out a lot of partial credit. And I found out I got an 87 on my mid-term when I was sure I flunked it. So, maybe I won't do so bad in that class after all. I just have to turn in my papers. Yes, they were due when I took the final. But I was literally going nuts Monday night. I'd sit down and my head would pound, and I'd literally get dizzy and sick to my stomach whenever I even tried to concentrate enough to type the papers. Whenever I was able to type, I'd be so tense and irritable that every little misstroke sent me into murderous fits where I wanted to smash the computer. This fruistration only led to more misstorkes, which lead to more fruistration which lead to . . . well, you get the idea. So I just said, "Fuck it" and went to bed. I got up, studied the stories I hadn't already read to prepare for the final, and went to a psychiatrist appointment where the psychiatrist didn't really let me speak, and proceeded to lecture me for 15 minutes before he let me out of his office. Meh.
So yeah, 2 finals down, 2 to go. Well, one, really, because my spanish "final" merely consists of me getting up in front of the class and "presenting" my paper that I just "wrote" in 20 minutes. It basically consisted of me copying and pasting something from a website (a HUGE thanks to Alex for finding the site for me!), then cutting and paraphrasing parts so that it made sense, and looked like something I would write. Anyway, Spanish is no longer an issue either. That leaves genetics as my final final. Thank God.
I have yet to actually study for it, though. You see, I went to Scott and asked him if we could study together and he looked at me like I was crazy. Why? I mean, our first two years we studied together almost every night. Now, all of a sudden, this year he has this thing where he needs to study by himself. And now, since I have no study partner, I have no motivation to study, and no one to keep me on track, so I don't study, and my grades have slipped significantly. So, he said I could come over and study, so I did, but he still seemd intent on doing his own thing, so I just copied notes from class that I had missed and then left. It was a rather discouraging experience. We used to do homework and study together all the time. Why the change? It's frustrating because we used to be such good friends, and this year we've grown noticable apart. Is it because I've fallen out of love with him? Well, if that were the case, you'd think that I'd be the one pulling away. Well then the only other reason I can think of is his relationship with Katrina. I mean, I love Katrina to death, but I just wish I could understand why Scott feels the need to keep to himself so much now . . .
Anyway, I'm going to look over notes and stuff in bed till I fall asleep, and that ought to be good enough for me to get a passing grade on the final. I'm not really going for more, even though I should be. I just want to be done with these classes and NOT have to take them again. So tomorrow afternoon is genetics. Tomorrow evening is Spanish, and then I get to work my ass off to finally finish my Lit papers and hand them in. That's still the biggest obstacle I face. Grrr. But it has to be done. If I do them, I actually stand a good chance of getting a B in the course, which would be awesome considering I've missed more than half the classes.
