Well, it's over. The musical I have dream of performing in since I first heard of it, is over. I auditioned, was cast in my dream role, rehearesed my ass off, and finally performed for hundreds of people. And it's over.
As exhausting as it was, I'm already missing it. Our final performance was our best one. Everybody just poured everything they had into it, especially me. The final scenes of the show were so emotional. I was so choked up during the finale, that I couldn't sing. I had to mouth the words. And after we all went back stage, I just started bawling and held Mara and Emily. That was my last show with them. After 3 years, they're moving on. I've played oppposite one or both of them in every show I've been in, and they both are so talented. They bring out the best of me when we perform together. I'm really, really going to miss them. I just can't imagine what it's going to be like next year without them.
But despite that, I have an incredible feeling of . . . anticipation, I guess. It feels like one chapter of my life is coming to a close, but another is about to start, and it's really exciting. I got my wish, and everything is happy, but the story isn't over. There's a whole other act to come.
It's really amazing all the things you can relate to Into the Woods. It seems like such a simple show on the outside. Afterall, it's about Fairy Tales. But when you look at it, it is so much more. Dealing with and exploring topics like adultery, growing up, marriage, grief, parenting, desire, greed and more, it truly is a show worth paying attention to for all it's messages. I think I appreciate and love this show even more for having performed in it. We really went out with a bang Sunday night. God, it felt so good.
Heh, here I am thinking I had my thoughts in order, and my post is more jumpy than the previous one was.
But yes, I do have this incredible feeling of optimism and anticipation for the year to come. Even without some friend's I've known since I've come here, it will really be a year to remember, and I intend on making the most of it. And then after next year . . . I don't know. It's so far in the future, but so close at the same time. There are just so many possibilities that I have no way of knowing where I'll end up.
At this stage of high school, I was scared out of my mind for a future that was so "up in the air" and unknown. But now, I'm excited. I'm looking forward to it. Funny how things work out like that. I'm sure, though, that its largely because of my personal growth here. I'm a very different person than I was in high school. I'd like to think that I'm a better person, and in some ways I am, but in some ways I've been broken too . . .
It's funny, lines from the show keep popping into my head all the time, and I'll sing them to myself and think about their meaning, and most of the time, I understand them better than when I sang them in the show.
"How do you ignore all the curses, all the lies, the false hopes, the good-byes, the reverses, and all the while wondering what even worse is still in store?"
"People make mistakes: Fathers, mothers. People make mistakes, holding to their own, thinking their alone. But noone acts alone. Believe me, noone is alone. Someone is on your side."
"Oh, if life were made of moments, even now and then a bad one. But if life were made of moments, then you'd never know you had one."
"Careful the wish you make; wishes are children. Careful the path they take; wishes come true, not free. Careful, the spell may last past what you can see, or turn against you. Careful before you say, 'Listen to me'."
And I'm sure people didn't come to read show quotes, but those are just a few lines that have been revolving in my head lately.
I've just taken a break from erasing notes from my script. My thumb feels like it's about to form a blister, and I've used most of the pencil eraser and I've only gone through the act one script. I still have act 2 and all the music left to go through.
