I just spent another evening playing FFXI faaaaaar longer than I anticipated. It's sinking its addicting claws into me again, and I may need to take another extended break from it in the weeks ahead.
School is going ok. I'm doing average in my classes. Not great, but I'm passing. Mostly just because I've actually been going to classes. Maybe if I actually studied and did homework, I'd be getting A's, but hey, one thing at a time.
Directing, however, is going fantastic. I'm really having a lot of fun. My shows actually are taking up just as much conscious thought as FFXI and sex! I seriously lay in bed last night for almost two hours just going over the shows in my head and thinking of the various ideas I wanted to implement into them. They're going to be so cool! And even after a couple rehearsals, I'm seeing big improvement in my casts. Hell, these will be ready for broadway in a couple weeks! Tomorrow I actually start blocking. Doc let me into the prop room and one of the furniture rooms today, and there's so much crap in there that I've got to be able to find something. And my casts are all as pumped about the shows as I am. Its really a great experience. OH! And Carrie-Beth was finally told by Doc, and she took it pretty well. She understands that she needs to get her grades up. I'm just really relieved that she doesn't feel bad.
We had Seussical brush-up tonight, and, well, it felt odd. After not doing it for almost two weeks, it had felt . . . finished. And here we are going BACK to it, and it just feels like it should be over. Maybe that'll change once we have an audience. I hope it does.
And I've been very . . . I dunno . . . significantly not enjoying chorale lately. Palmer has given all these talks about how if you don't feel that it's worth your time, or you aren't getting anything out of it, then you shouldn't be there. Well, I think that applies to me. A lot. I mean, I LOVE chorale when we sing! But we get interrupted sooooo often and Palmer talks sooooo much, that I'd be surprised if we sang for 50% of the hour. There are just so many things that bug me about it. The way Palmer is constantly saying that when we perform we only get one chance to do it right, yet he'll stop us for the most insignificant reasons and make us start over! How are we supposed to get used to "one chance" when we do it fifty freaking times in rehearsal? I guess it wouldn't be quite so bad if I understood why he was stopping us. To me, we sound fine, and he just stops us because we were "off" or something, and when he's satisfied we've fixed it, it doesn't sound any different to me than when we stopped in the first place. I was seriously getting anxiety/panic attacks today in chorale. I felt like I was going to faint from all the frustration and halting and repeating and I was about to scream and collapse and just run out of the room! I could barely hold onto myself. I felt like I was going to lose it. And its been like that in chorale for most of the year so far.
Maybe another thing is that we are largely singing songs we've already sang in past years. And not even the songs I enjoyed from past years. Nooooo, we're singing the ones that have always annoyed the hell out of me since we first got the music. If we sing Ride the Chariot at ANY performance after this Sunday, I swear I'm going to fucking take all the copies of that song and burn them in a HUGE bonfire. I thought it was dumb sophomore year. I hated it in Europe. And I couldn't stand it last year. And now we are singing it AGAIN!!!!!! Enough with that godforsaken song! No more Joy is on the Way, especially if you're going to cement a soloist who sounds like ass, but now that he has a solo, he thinks he's god's gift to choirs. (I'm auditioning for EVERY solo from here on out just so I don't have to listen to him anymore). And Chindia is the most horrid piece of shit that I have ever heard! I hate it! It's dumb! It's so stupid that I may just blame that fucking song for my brain cells leaving my head and preventing me from concentrating!
We are singing some new songs, though, but I can't stand most of them either. The only new song that I like is Amazing Grace. The rest I can barely stand. They're just the same generic choir crap we've been singing for the past 3 years. Can we get something different here!? PLEASE!? For the love of GOD, I can't stand this!
And I'm going to leave the ranting there because I really need to get to bed.
Eric 10/21/2004 03:29:00 AM
