Aaaaand I'm back at school. Winter break sucked. Really bad. The past week has been devoid of transportation and communication of any kind due to financial difficultues. Thus my life has consisted of BK, sleep, and reading. It was nice to get back into reading. I read a 600 page book in three days because I had nothing else to do. It was a decent book. I've read better, but I'm still interested in where the series goes. I find the main character to be an arrogant asshole, though. He has a good cause: reuniting the 3 races of the world to repel the evil army from invading, but he does it in such an asshole-ic way. He's all, "Follow me b/c your supposed to. The prophecy says so. I'm right, you're wrong, and if you think I'm wrong, I'll just kill you." I mean I'm rooting for the villain most of the time. I wonder if that's how the author intended it? It's the heroine that I find fascinating. She was focused on in the 1st book, but the 2nd focused on the asshole hero. I wonder how the other books turn out.
Anyway, I think I got shit at Wells Fargo fixed, finally. And my old account if finally deleted, so that SHOULD be the end of my troubles in THAT department.
Grad school is officially a lost cause for the next year. I still have yet to be able to talk to my World Civ teacher, so graduation is still up in the air.
So I"m very much trying to figure out what I'm going to do next year. My brother Kelly suggested that he, Corie, and I get an apartment in Blair while they go to Dana. The only thing is that I need to be involved in community theater, which is mainly in downtown Omaha, and commuting everyday would be a strain on money.
So, I need to find somewhere to live, other than my house, for next year. It's going to be . . . interesting . . . I really don't know where/when to even begin looking around I have so much to deal with as it is.
I haven't started memorizing my one-man show yet, even though that was my task for winter break. Well, OTHER than grad school stuff . . . I feel like such a failure. How can I look Doc in the eye again after being such a dissappointment? The word "failure" bounces around in my head till it makes me feel physically sick. I can't stand it.
My break was such a bust. It really was. Its nice to be back at school where I have at least some sense of direction. I'm looking forward to my Lord of the Rings class. It ought to be pretty cool. And musical practices will start in a week or so. And I have internet again, so I can throw myself into FFXI when I have nothing else to do.
Escape, escape. That's all I do. God, its pathetic. I want to be stronger. Desperately. But I don't know how. I'm just so lost, and I feel like I need someone to show me the way.
Blargh. I'm getting mopey again. Off to escaping once more . . .
Eric 1/04/2005 11:24:00 PM
