So if Claustrophobia is when you get extreme anxiety about being in enclosed spaces, then what is it called when you get panic attacks during really long, boring speeches?
Its not a "fear", I would think, but today, I had this overwhelming feeling of panic and being trapped during the opening convocation. Now, this isn't a new thing. Whenever I'm sitting through a really long, boring speech, I start to, well, not only get antsy, but start panicing and feeling like I'm going to explode.
For once, the long, boring speech didn't come from Dr. Cristopherson (His was actually short for once). It came from the guest speaker, who has got to be the most horrible speaker ever. Ok, maybe not that bad, but good GOD!
He . . . talks . . . really . . . really . . . slow . . . . . . . . as though . . . he . . . doesn't . . . care . . . that every . . . body . . . is . . . sitting . . . there . . . waiting on . . . . him . . . to . . . finish . . . speaking . . .
It was driving me insane! I was about to jump up and scream, "FINISH YOUR FUCKING SENTENCE ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I couldn't stop fidgeting, and it was all I could do to stay in my seat and not explode. I felt like I was trapped there in my seat, forced to listen to this endless drone of nonsensical syllables and I felt like I was going insane.
Thankfully, his speech finally ended. I think I must've been the most exuberant applauder in the entire auditorium because I was so glad he was DONE.
So then I go to my first class of Senior Seminar . . .
Dr. Lyden told us that instead of introducing us to the class, that we had a guest speaker . . .
It was the same guy.
And this time I had to listen to him for an hour and 20 minutes as opposed to just a half an hour.
For some reason, I can't remember most of the class period. He droned on about something about why its important to have a Lutheren Education, or something like that. I do know that at some point I took to stabbing my hands with my pen to release some of the tension that was building up while I was forced to endure this man for an even longer stretch of time. I still have red marks all over my hands too. And its not a red pen.
But yeah, somewhere in the stabbity stabbity of my hands, I was able to make it through the period without losing it. I really, really really hope the rest of those classes aren't like that. I don't think they will be. Dr. Lyden is a cool guy and not NEARLY as boring as that horrid speaker.
Oh, and we actually started to sing NEW music in chorale! *gasp* *faint* I know! It's so much more amazing than it should be! Its NEW! It's not the same old stuff I've been singing since sophomore year! yay! Although I've sung the phrase "clap you hands" so many times its lost all meaning, and I still have an entire semester of singing that phrase ahead of me. But at least I know that I will never have to sing it after this semester. Thank God.
And, in other news, Scott and Katrina broke up. I just heard about it last night, and I don't know any details. I just . . . don't know what to do. Scott and I used to be really, really good friends. I think we still are, but ever since he started going out with Katrina, that kinda . . . faded, I guess. I want to be there for him because I know it must be pretty hard. I mean, they were dating for almost 2 years. It's just really difficult to know what to do because it was when Scott started to date Katrina that I finally got over him. And now that they're no longer dating, would he assume anything if I try and comfort him after they're broken up? Would he be right to assume anyhing?
No, I don't think so. I'm not touching that situation with a ten foot pole. Wait, make that a million foot pole. But I do miss hanging out with Scott. We used to get along really well, and my happiest times at this college were when we hung out all the time. Hell, when we hung out I actually got my homework done and got good grades in my classes.
I just don't know. It's an awkward situation. I guess I'll see what happens.
Eric 2/01/2005 06:09:00 PM
