Oh wow, what a long weekend. Oh my god. I had the play every evening, choir all saturday and sunday afternoon, on top of coming down with a bitch of a cold and spending the night in the emergency room last night.
Measure For Meaure went amazingly. I am just so proud of that show. I really feel like I grew as an actor, and I feel like I gave some really good performances. For the first time in a while, I was actually able to feel the emotions I was playing. I would literally panic in the final scene. It was so crazy and unnerving, and foreign, but so great at the same time. I would just feel my heart and my head pounding, and my breath quicken, and it was just nuts! Or maybe that was my cold . . . *shrug* But yeah, I'm just really proud of my performance, and I'm so grateful to everyone who came. A lot of people told me how they were surprised that they understood the play so well, which is a testament to our production, I think. Shakespeare's language is so complex and metaphorical that the biggest difficulty in producing one of his plays is making the complex ideas presented understandable to the audience. I think we really succeeded in that in Measure For Measure. People told me how our performances really brought the language to life. I was so excited! We did it! We did Shakespeare and we did it Good! Errr . . . Well!!
It was great how Doc really worked with me on all the small details. He gave me lots of constructive criticism and helped me become aware of a lot of physical habits, and I feel like I've grown a ton just from that. He and his wife Connie told me they were really really impressed with my performances. I was speechless. It meant so much to me that I didn't know what to say. I look up to them so much, and for them to tell me that they were so proud of me was just so . . . great! Wow, I can't even describe it in words.
I actually had people laugh at me too! I've never had people laugh at me in a play before! I've never gotten comedic parts or been the center of attention, but they laughed! They liked it! And the greatest part was that I didn't have to ham it up for the laughs. It was realistic humor, which personally, I prefer to fake, slap-stick comedy. The audience would laugh, and I'd know that I was doing well, and I'd be that much more excited to do better, and it was so great! I've never gotten that kind of direct audience reaction before. Wow! Just . . . wow! I mean, today the audience was particularly dead. They had such little reactions to scenes previous audiences have found hilarious. But during my first scene with Katie, they actually opened up! They laughed! Our scene got them to open up! And then, at the end of that scene, I had a soliloquy, and as I walked off-stage, someone started applauding! People don't typically applaud between scenes during a play, but someone did it after I finished my soliloquy! I was so proud! I mean, I felt like I had done that speech better than any other time, and someone apperantly really liked it! Woo hoo! I have a fan!
I think I got one of my favorite compliments from Katrina's mother who told me, "Yeah, I saw you get up to sing in chorale, and I thought, 'oh, I don't like him he's the creepy guy,'" She had never met me before, and only knew me from my performance as Angelo the night before. I never thought I'd revel in someone telling me they didn't like me. But I got that a lot. People told me they genuinely didn't like me! Yay! They didn't like me! I've just heard from so many people that my perfomance really affected them. Sweet.
And then there was chorale. I had my final chorale concert ever, and probably my last choir concert for the rest of my life. My mom surprised me by making it out. She skipped some work so she could come watch. I was really nervous because I was so sick with my cold, and I hadn't gotten much sleep because I was in the hospital all night the night before, that I was worried about my Mastersingers solo. I sang through it at warm-ups, and it came out, well, like I had a stuffed up nose. Which I had. But when I got up to sing my song, it just clicked. I got to the finale, and my voice just soared. I hit the hight notes, and kept soaring. It felt so free and beautiful and perfect. People told me how much I moved them with my song too. Joe's mom said I made her cry. Yay! I made people cry! Knowing that my performances can move people to such emotion is really gratifying to me. I mean, that's what performances are for. They move people. And I succeeded. Hell, I moved myself. The whole chorale was just so awesome in our concert. It was great to end on such a high note. During the second verse of our final song, Beautiful Savior, I couldn't sing anymore, and it was all I could do to keep my mouth from trembling as tears poured down my cheeks. I wasn't sad. I wasn't happy. It was . . . so strange. It was the last song of my last concert ever. It meant so much to me, and it was so powerful, I was just overcome. After we all walked offstage, I think I must've cried for half an hour while hugging all my friends. It felt good to have a release like that.
Such a great weekend, despite how busy I was. Despite being sick and in the hospital. Despite the lack of rest and everything else. It was amazing.
But, unfortunately, I don't have any time to relish in it. I've got to get working on my research project pronto, and on my one-man show. I've got a lot ahead of me to finish in these last 3 weeks of school. It's gonna be crazy, but just as rewarding, if not more so, than this past weekend, I think.
