Came in from a rainy Thursday On the avenue Thought I heard you talking softly
I turned on the lights, the TV And the radio Still I can't escape the ghost of you
What has happened to it all? Crazy, some are saying Where is the life that I recognize? Gone away
But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive
Passion or coincidence Once prompted you to say "Pride will tear us both apart" Well now pride's gone out the window Cross the rooftops Run away Left me in the vacuum of my heart
What is happening to me? Crazy, some'd say Where is my friend when I need you most? Gone away
But I won't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive
Papers in the roadside Tell of suffering and greed Here today, forgot tomorrow Ooh, here besides the news Of holy war and holy need Ours is just a little sorrowed talk
And I don't cry for yesterday There's an ordinary world Somehow I have to find And as I try to make my way To the ordinary world I will learn to survive
Every one Is my world, I will learn to survive Any one Is my world, I will learn to survive Any one Is my world Every one Is my world
Well, it's done. It's been a couple days now, and it still hasn't really hit me. I just feel like I'm on regular old summer vacation. I wonder how it will feel when it really does hit . . .
My show went really, really well. I was so worried and scared about it, but everything just fell into place on opening night. Even Doc told me how surprised he was by the incredible improvement he saw in just a day's time. It felt so much better. I knew before anyone told me that I was nailing it. Granted, it wasn't perfect, but it was so much better than I thought it would be. I went out with the bang I wanted.
Thank you to everyone who came! It meant so much to me to have you all there! My grandmother and my aunt came! They've never seen me in a show before, and they made it to this one! It was so exciting. A little awkward as I haven't officially come out to my extended family, and my show is bulging at the seams with gay themes, but it was still really cool that they came.
And a HUGE thanks to the awesome ladies who helped me put the show on! I couldn't have done it without you! Tabby, Megan, Nicole, Jo, and Erin, you kept me sane! Thank you!
I finished up all my papers Friday afternoon, and handed them in. Graduation was on Saturday. It was kind of odd because I didn't graduate with any of my close friends in my class. They're all staying for a 5th year. The close friends I did graduate with were 5th year seniors themselves. It was just so awkward. It felt like it was too early or something. Like I should have stayed another year. But graduating was best, I think. I didn't really have anything left to do at Dana, when I think about it. There's not much I could have gained by staying another year. I've learned so much from that place, and now it's time to learn from somewhere else.
I think it's really odd how it seems like people consider high school graduation to be so much more important than college graduation. Huge celebrations are thrown for high school graduations, but college graduations just kind of peter out. The Omaha World Herald had a whole section of the news paper devoted to high school graduates a few weeks ago. Did I just miss the college one, or did it never exist? BK gives special stuff to high school graduates. Nothing for the college grad. Relatives are expected to be present at high school graduations. No one was there except my grandma at my college graduation. Even hearing about grad parties from other people, high school seems to be a larger cause for celebration.
But why? Any idiot can graduate high school. People who haven't are really looked down on in society. But NOT everyone graduates college. College is more difficult than high school; it actually requires effort. Yet college graduates get so stinted on the celebration/congratulations end of everything. I am the first person in my entire extended family to graduate from college in 4 years. Most people in my extended family never even went to college, let alone graduated from it.
Bahh, the world is weird. Hell, I don't even feel like I've graduated yet. I'm far from being ready to celebrate about it. Meh.
So, for the past couple days, I've just sat around when I haven't been at work. My GM says that I'm the highest priority when it comes to hours. So I'm guaranteed 40 hours a week, which is good, but I still want to get out of BK. That's probably their last-ditch (although kind of pitiful when you think about it) effort at getting me to stay. Then again, I'm sooooooo lazy and sooooooo unmotivated at the moment, that I'll probably be there for the rest of the summer.
After the last couple weeks, my brain is dead. The prospect of getting off my ass and searching for a job doesn't excite me much when I already have a job that guarantees me more than $1000 a month.
But wait . . . lemme see . . . $250 car payment, $300 student loan payment means that by november I'll be spending $550 a month just on bills. Not to mention any sort of rent I might have to come up with if I find another place to live. So, yeah, I'll definitely have to find a better job by the end of the summer, or I won't have much extra to save after all the bills are paid. And we all know how great I am at spending . . . Looks like there's another life lesson to work on.
But, yeah, got back into FFXI for a bit. I've been trying to level up my shield and parry skills because they are WAAAAAY far behind for my level. Of course leveling them is a long, grueling, time-consuming process, but at least I don't have to wait for other people to do it. I figure I can just level them for an hour or so, and then go do something else.
Our linkshell officially shattered, though. It's sad how such stupid, petty arguments destroyed such a great group. Guess it wasn't all that great to begin with then, was it? And then I remember all the times that I'd ask to help, or ask for help, or just try and participate with people, and I'd be ignored while everyone was at my brother's beck and call. Whatever. IT looks like I've got a new linkshell already, and this one is full of people much closer to my level, so we can actually do things together! *gasp!*
And, finally, I've started practices for the cabaret thingy at The Max during pride week. The songs are really awesome. I'm so excited! But Brandon is having me sing Tenor . . . no, I'm not kidding. I'm really singing Tenor. In everything. So . . . yeah, it'll be . . . interesting. But it's still gonna be awesome. I'm already meeting some cool people.
Which reminds me, I need to get The Full Monty and HairSpray soundtracks ASAP because they are really really awesome. Haha, Big Ass Rock. hehehe
So yeah, for now I work mornings and afternoons, then have rehearsal in the evenings, and a few hours here and there in between, so I'm keeping pretty busy so far. And it's nothing that I have to fret over, so it's not stressing.
Anyway, I'm gonna get to bed so I can be up and take full advantage of my day off tomorrow. Helloooooooo haircut and SuperTarget shopping! Yeah!
Eric 5/24/2005 03:47:00 AM
