Lord, that sounds soooo goooooooood right now . . .
Well, so much shit has happened that I'm mostly feeling just numb right now. Nothing but boredom. I'm even past the dispair phase. Everything is just so damn absurdly ridiculous that there's not a whole lot to be done.
Eric postponed his show. He couldn't find someone to play one of the major male roles, and one person dropped out of another major male role. Both because they weren't comfortable doing the parts because they involved guy/guy kissing.
Which at first you think, "Well, that's ok. Not everyone's comfortable with that kind of thing." But I've had stage kisses with girls so many damn times, I can't even count them all. I'm not attracted by girls. Kissing them doesn't do anything for me. But it's not the end of the damn world if I DO have to kiss them. It's just a kiss. You touch their lips with your own. We're not asking these people to have gay sex on stage, just to do some staged kissing. Big Fuckin' Deal. Grow up people.
I mean, ok, maybe some people aren't comfortable kissing on stage in general. That's perfectly fine, even understandable given someone's personal values. But for someone to say, "yeah, I'll pretend like I'm in love with one gender on stage, but not the other" strikes me as somewhat of a hypocrite.
It's entirely possible that one such individual will read this, but I really don't give a damn. You're being a child. You'll be willing to put your hands down a guys pants, but not kiss them on the lips? How backwards is that?
And you know, in spite of all this, I can't help but wonder if I'm the problem. Maybe I'm just so repulsive and disgusting that I'm driving these people away because I'm the one they'd have to stage kiss. Am I really that disgusting? That people will vehemently protest against even pretending to be attracted to me in a theatrical setting?
Ugh, we finally get the women we need to do the show, and then no guys are to be found that have the balls to play the damn roles.
Then Eric's mom broke her leg, so Eric needs to go help out at his house for a while, and the stress is just too much for him, and he can't handle looking for cast members, directing, and helping his family all at the same time, so, he's postponing the show.
He wants to try and pick up rehearsals again in October, after the BSB stuff opens. Then, maybe we'll be able to put on the show in December.
And, honestly, after thinking about it, I'm kind of glad. This way we can have the time to find people who won't pussy-out of the roles. That, and we can really take the time to make this an amazing show.
I'm dissappointed that we're not doing it now, but, hell, even I have enough to deal with at the moment.
So, I applied to the Red Cross, to call people up to donate blood. Scott from BSB works there and says it's a great job. It sounds like a great job. It's just that it's only 12-19 hours a week. And at $8.25 an hour, that's going to cover my bills, and only cover my bills, let alone actually saving money, feeding myself, or going out anywhere to have a good time.
Well, I'd have to get a 2nd part time job. And, honestly, who is going to hire me for a 4 hour shift in the middle of the day? What job would do that? Gee, that was exactly when I'd be working for gallup, but I'm not good enough to use their phones.
I could do that UPS job that I applied for, but that's over nights. So I'd go straight from there to the Red Cross, then sleep for 4 hours, go to rehearsal, then sleep for 4 more hours before going back to UPS. I think a split sleep cycle is just going to make me sick.
So, really, working at the Red Cross would be great if I was going to school or something, but it's not going to support me as a full time job. So I don't know if I take it now and then quit if I ever find something better or what.
Eric told me that he's stressed at work because they have more work than the employees can handle, so they're always busy and rushing. I couldn't help but burst out in sarcastic laughter because if they have so much work to do WHY DON'T THEY FUCKING HIRE PEOPLE TO DO IT!?
Well, tomorrow I'm going to call westaff and see if they have anything for me yet. IF they don't, I'll call this Noll place that places people in bio-related jobs. Even though I e-mailed them more than a week ago, sent them my resume, and asked about positions and they never responded. Eric says that e-mailing people just makes it easier for them to ignore you. Well, if they want to ignore me so bad, why the fuck should I bother? If they're just going to ignore e-mails, why do they give people the option of contacting them that way?
It just fucking pisses me off. I don't want to have to kiss ass to get a job. If I enjoyed kissing ass to strangers, I'd still be at BK.
This weekend, on our family trip to minnesota, I bought a board game with the last of my saved money, because I wanted to get SOMETHING on the trip, and it looked really really cool.
And when I tried it out with Joel, Jordan, and Corie in the hotel, it was even cooler than I thought it'd be. Of course now that we're home, there's never enough people around to actually play it. So yeah, I love how I just blew my money on a really cool game that I'll never get to actually use ever again because no one will play the damn thing with me.
Everything just really fucking sucks, and it would be really nice if I could just get a break.
Well, this may be a sore subject, but since I don't know how to get ahold of you these days (no one ever answers your house phone, and I don't leave messages) I'm gonna ask you here. Keep me posted on whenever Acrobat or whatever it is called goes up.
BTW, what are the rehearsal schedules going to be like? I'm sorta opting out of theater for a bit because I'm enrolling in some night classes, but they are only two days a week, so if the times are flexible, I might be interested. (I've heard a lot of negatory comments from Dan Goos about it, so I'm sure I'd like it. ^_~
Oh, and another thing, Japanese smileys look like crap in Courier font. I hope it looks better posted.
We need to get you drunk.. anger is bad for the soul..far better to forget about it and deal with it later...when do you all want to meet up for adult non carbonated beverages? Friday or Saturday night preferred so people can sleep whereever they pass out? Save my bed....we have dibs. We have starbursts, jager, vodka, we can get some jello shots made up and go swimming etc. My email is twalter@gmail.com and April's is april.doctor@cosentry.com, let us know. P.S. we’ll play your board game!
