You know, I think that my life would be a hell of a lot easier if I was the only person alive. If everybody died, and I was the last human being on earth, I think I might finally be happy. I could just go day to day focused on surviving, and not have any time to worry about stupid little things like friends, relationships, happiness, fun, or anything like that because I'd be so busy just finding something to eat. And in the rare instances that I had some free time, I could just pick up a book and read it. There's millions and billions of books. I'm sure I wouldn't run out of anything to read.
And best of all, I wouldn't be jealous. There'd be nothing and no one to be jealous of. I won't feel these pains in my stomach whenever someone I know gets into a relationship. I won't feel aches in my chest whenever someone I liked moves on and meets someone else. There would be nothing to be jealous of. All this pain would suddenly no longer have a source, and so it would shut off.
Brave New World sure hit the bullseye. I mean, I think I would give anything. Anything at all to get rid of my emotions. All they do is cause me problems. They cause more pain than happiness. They cause my to fuck up my life in such grand ways that I don't know how to fix it. Just to, for once, feel nothing . . . nothing at all . . . god, that would feel so good. Ok, it won't feel good, it won't feel like anything at all, but by comparison to where I am right now, it'll be paradise.
